Facebook
by Fandemonium-in-the-streets
Summary: "Come on. We both know that this assignment isn't going to get done tonight." This is a story about all the times I've missed an assignment deadline because of FACEBOOK. We've all experienced it, don't deny it! Just a little crack!fic, please enjoy!


**AN: Man, I've been posting up a storm here today! I guess I've had nothing better to do...isn't that sad? *shrugs* anyway! Thanks to a very special friend who helped me edit this and encouraged me to post it here! (I'm looking at you, you know who you are)**

**This was something that I typed up to a friend on Facebook when I should have been doing homework and i really liked it, so I kept it. I've given the social networking site-Facebook- a personality and the main character (you) no name or gender so you can view this all from your point of view! Come on, we've all had this happen to us! Tell us all a story of any time this happened to you in the reviews? For me? Anyway, enjoy!**

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Facebook

I sat down at my computer with a mug in hand. I set the milky tea on the table and some of it sloshed out. I cursed silently and went to clean up the spill.

When I finished, I collected the necessary homework papers and opened up an Internet tab. As I lazily looked up hygiene rules for in the kitchen, I felt warm air, ghosting over the back of my neck. I sighed,

"Facebook, what do you want now?"

Facebook replied with a breathy chuckle which made my hair stand up on end.

"Come on now, this isn't about what I want; It's about what you want."

I felt him place a hand on my shoulder. It was firm and heavy, but warm. I tried to shift him, but my muscles seemed to have gone on strike-I couldn't move. I glanced up at the Facebook tab and I suddenly felt very warm under the collar. I shuffled nervously and he came and sat down next to me. I looked at him and he smirked at me, sensing my obvious discomfort.

I breathed deeply and set my eyes back on the screen. We were silent for a while, me reading my hygiene article and him, leaning back and slightly contently. I had almost begun to relax…almost. It was only once I realised I had read the same sentence over 15 times that I looked back at Facebook again. I watched him slowly breathing, eyes shut. He opened his eyes and peered at me.

"What are you looking at?" He didn't sound angry, just...I guess cheeky.

"Nothing." I retorted. I was determined not to get messed up in his mind games. I had an assignment to do, I had been given it today and it was due on Friday! That was only 2 days to get it done! I couldn't risk getting distracted by Facebook.

I looked back at my screen again, opening a new tab and looking for a different article. My eyes drifted once again to the tab bar at the top of the page. Facebook's symbol was dangerously close to my cursor and my breathing hitched.

Facebook suddenly stood up, and walked behind my back. Both of his hands on my shoulders, harder than before. His silky voice broke the silence.

"Come on. We both know that this assignment isn't going to get done tonight." his hands kneaded my shoulders, and I began to grow hot under the collar again. Dammit!

This was getting out of hand, the mouse was beginning to shake, the cursor trembled and my arms tensed. Facebook grew silent and the air was tense. I looked back at my hygiene article and into the word document. I had written barely 2 sentences. I sighed, feeling bored of hygiene stuff.

"So? What'll it be?" he said seductively. His hands were making slow, soothing motions along my shoulders and up my neck. I shivered. His hands were hotter than my skin, if that was possible.

I clicked on the Facebook button. Facebook didn't say anything, he didn't even move. I just stared at my screen, shocked at what I had done. I couldn't believe it. He let out the breath he had been holding in and I did too, not even realising that I had been sucking it in.

As I entered in my password, my muscles relaxed. As my fingers deftly typed in my password with an ease only borne from familiarity I smiled. What were a few minutes on Facebook? I needed to catch up on what my friends were doing anyway. I leaned back in my seat comfortably. Facebook had vanished; he was no longer behind me, nor beside me. I rolled my eyes, typical Facebook behaviour.

I looked at my news feed, pictures of cats dominating the screen once again. When were dogs going to take control? They were way cooler than cats. As I scrolled through the pages, I glanced back up at the hygiene tab and I felt a pang of guilt. The page was still open, but I continued scrolling, giggling at the silly things people were saying. In what felt like only a few minutes later my Mum came up behind me and sighed tiredly.

I froze.

"Facebook again?" I gave a small smile and replied quietly,

"I can't help it. He's just so alluring"

She smiled (frowning slightly at the personification of the social network) and walked away. She called out behind her back, "Bedtime, sweetie. Off the computer"

I tensed and looked at the clock.

Oh.

It was 9 o'clock. AKA-my bedtime. No more time for homework.

Crap.

"It's not all that bad," Facebook purred. He had appeared behind me and I jumped.

"Hey look, someone posted another cat video" He leaned over my shoulder and pointed at a link of a cat fighting with a stick with string on the end.

"Shut up Facebook, I'm already late for bed!" I scrambled up from my seat, and ran out of the room. If Dad saw me out of bed past my bed time I wouldn't hear the end of it.

Facebook sat down on the chair I had occupied earlier. He could hear me rushing around in the bathroom and he smiled to himself. He clicked on the search tab and typed In Justin Bieber. He found several that looked enticing and he clicked 'Like' for all of them.

He chuckled in his chest, logged off her account and left.

FIN

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**AN: I hope you guys liked it! Please leave a review if you could be so kind!**


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